by Mahesh

When I was in Melbourne some four to five years back, I had a conversation with two people at the client site about Justice Michael Kirby, and what they felt about his being an openly gay man in such a significant constitutional position. “It doesn't matter to me,” one of them shrugged. 'He seems to be quite fair.' 'I think in a way, his being gay makes him so much more conscious of injustice, and that helps.' the other said.

They were both very straight, church-going, white Australians and I was most impressed by their ability to judge the Justice by the quality of his work rather than his sexuality. I almost came out to them then as a gay man so as to avoid conversations about marriage and all that, but I did not.

Justice Kirby was in town yesterday, and thanks to Vinay and the lawyers at Alternative Law Forum, was persuaded to come down to Good As You for a conversation with us. I do not mean to gush about it, but I do think it was really nice of the man to take the time to sit down with a bunch of non-lawyer, general guys like us to exchange views and talk to us about his life, his love and such.

He talked very naturally about his life, his partner of 39 years, his passion for his work and his missions in life. No clichés, no table-banging 'I-want-you-out-there-and-doing-things' talk. Just a regular evening conversation, and that's probably why one took so much more from it.

One thing he said in particular made me smile. 'When I first met my partner in 1969, there we were - holding hands and sitting in our lounge, watching the first gay character on the telly. And now, 39 years on, we are still doing the same thing - holding hands, sitting in our lounge and watching Queer As Folk on the telly. So, really, for us, things haven't changed much at all!'

He spoke at length on issues of justice, perseverance, breaking stereotypes, honesty, building bridges and all that. He impressed upon us the importance of acts of simple everyday bravery - the kind that enabled us to get together and talk, or made us stand up and object to slurs, or made us be open to some if not all. Our individual ability to live our own life, and break such stereotypes as we can is brave too and just as important as the bravery of the few people out there in the courts with their petitions, and their friends - straight/ gay, men/ women - who are standing with them.

We talked about marriage, religion, children and finding one's purpose in life.

What really struck me was the quiet satisfaction of the man over his life with his partner, his ease with their differences over religion, his simple smile at the recollection of him.

I do think it is perfectly fine to not need institutions like marriage, have open relationships and all that. All valid individual choices, but speaking for myself, I think it is good to be in love - especially with the same person for so long.

I should be so lucky.